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Life Is Not About Finding Yourself… Life Is About Creating Yourself

Types of Fears and Overcoming Them

Different Types of Fears and Overcoming Them

As much as there are several potential triggers to your fear, there are also as many types of fears. However, they can be categorized into three basic fears: external, internal, or subconscious. Among the three, the subconscious and internal type of fear are most difficult to find treatment to because the person must take the initiative to recognize the source of fear and take necessary steps to overcome it. Recognizing the category in which your fears fit into will help you know how to deal with it.

External Fear

Among the types of fear, this one is the easiest to diagnose and manage. It is similar to phobias wherein an outside source elicit a degree of internal fear or any manageable level of anxiety. For example, fear of spiders or fear of heights are among the most common phobias that several people share. A feeling of fear, anxiety or discomfort is experienced by the person with that particular fear when the situation confronts them with those triggers. Since the source of fear is easier to identify, then one can easily look for alternative ways in which to confront that trigger and overcome fear.

Since external fears are often caused by negative experiences in the past involving those external sources of fears, you can adapt some techniques that will help you understand the reality of the situation. Hypnosis or some other psychological methods are employed in order to erase any previous negative associations with these objects or creatures that elicit fear.

Internal Fear

This type of fear is closely associated with low levels of self esteem or confidence. But like with external fear, the triggers are coming from an outside source and yet it produces a negative emotion. This trigger will then produce internal reactions or fears such as self doubt or questioning one’s capability to do something. Most often, when people begin to question their own abilities, failure is inevitable. This type of fear often impacts one’s ability to interact with the social environment.

If you want to conquer internal types of fear, you often have to go back at your childhood years wherein character development is at its peak. This is the stage in people’s lives wherein they build characters and develop fears. Some people seek professional help that enables them to adapt a new perspective in life and change any behaviors that produce such insecurities and fears.

Subconscious Fear

This type of fear is produced by accepted beliefs in your mind that serve to limit your potentials and worse, could end up in self sabotage. This one is somewhat associated with the internal type of fear wherein you have the tendency to question your capacity to achieve something. Thus, the tendency for self doubt and negative self talk. This one requires you to take active steps towards reversing those beliefs and enable you to maximize your potential.

Goals to Overcome Your Fears

One of the many reasons why people neglect the need to overcome their fears is the lack of motivation. Therefore, setting goals will help increase the desire to manage and overcome your fears. Aside from that, this will enable you to take careful methods toward your goal and provide a sense of direction. One benefit you can get from it is that aside from getting rid of your fears, it offers more focused direction in your everyday living as opposed to not having a clear idea of what you want to do in life.

Setting goals as motivation to overcoming your fears will also enable you to have a bigger grasp at the need to fight your fears as an opportunity to grow and delimit yourself.

The Powers of a Positive Attitude

I am going to ask you to something very weird right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let’s say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone who would meet you would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here’s another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your frame of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too – unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn’t end there. Your attitude can also affect people around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly invigorating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a sapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the world, more or less you have a negative attitude brewing up. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others are around feel the same way.

A negative attitude, on the other hand, has, of course, an opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to feature healthy thoughts. This is probably very hard to do nowadays since, all around us, the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a saddening thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts, and you have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing people mostly do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit by them, and listen to them. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. Before you get me wrong, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn.

As always, if you are beset by troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, you will always have hope. Problems become something you can overcome.

You do not have much to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually retards aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what’s not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Importance of Goal Setting

The importance of goal setting is evident among professionals. They work full time and yet still manage to have fun with their family; They extend their hands for community service and yet still manage to have some time to do their hobbies.

Their secret lies not in controlling time but in managing time. Time management. This is the essence of goal setting.

The importance of goal setting, however, is not limited to professionals. Every successful people has understood and acknowledged the importance of goal setting. Athletes, doctors, lawyers etc. have used goal setting in one way or the other.

1. Goal Setting is a Map

Identify an area of your life where you want advancement. Then work through the goal process that follows. Here are the steps needed to make a map.

A. Identify the exact goal

What you really want in life? What is your purpose and your objective? You must ask yourself these questions to have a concrete idea of what you want in life.

Time, however, can change the way we look at things. One day you may want to be a published romance novelist after five years, the next day you may want to be a water colour painter with mother and child as inspiration. When this change of heart happens, don’t despair. There’s no wrong with changing a goal for a another goal. This is part of life. Change, that is. But having an objective, an exact goal at present, will give you an idea of what you want. Changing that goal along the way, as you travelled to reach your goal, is just one of the events that you’ll encounter along the way.

B. Identify the completion date

Goals should have a period of completion. It is not a goal if it doesn’t have a specific time of completion; it would be a dream. A daydream, that is.

Goals are concrete and realistic aspirations. It isn’t a goal when you say, “I want to be a novelist within my lifetime.” It is a dream. A goal must be put this way, “I want to be a published romance novelist before I reach 35.” This gives you a period to push your pens and write down that publishable novel. It hurries you to reach your goal. It motivates you to beat time, have a published novel ahead of time you’ve set for yourself.

C. Identify the evolution of the goal

Change is inevitable. And it applies even to goals.

Goals may evolve into something, maybe even far better than your earlier goals. If earlier you want to be a published romance novelist before you reach the age of 35, it may evolve into somethings like: a published Young Adult novelist before you reach the age of 35, and have written a script for a video game.

2. Goal Setting Is Your Vision

When you set a goal, you are actually seeing a vision, a vision of yourself in the near future. Imagine if you accomplished the goal you have set after five years, it was as if you have predicted what you will become five year ago!

Having a vision not only makes you feel contented with yourself, it also pushes you to look ahead and go forward instead of to live in the past.

Build Confidence

Build Confidence in Interpersonal Relationships – Top Tips
For some people, self-confidence with regard to personal relationships is challenging. You may find that you have confidence in many other areas of your life – your business, talents, and so forth – but lack the confidence to have successful personal relationships. For some, this is due to past experiences – once bitten, twice shy, so to speak. For others, it just seems to be how they’re wired; they just can’t be the social butterfly they wish they could be.

If any of this describes you, read on for some tips and suggestions that may help.

Recognize You’re Not Alone

Pretending like you don’t have trouble with confidence is not going to help. You’d be surprised at how many people who seem naturally born confident actually took time and effort to learn the art of self-confidence in their relationships. If there weren’t a growing number of people in need of self-confidence, there wouldn’t be a growing field of confidence coaches and life coaches to help!

Consider Coaching

You might consider becoming a client of a confidence or life coach. These coaches specialize in helping people realize their potential, both professionally and personally. There’s no shame in seeking advice, whether from a friend or a professional.

Your Contribution

If you feel insecure when you think of your interpersonal relationships (or when you think of starting one), it might help to remember that you have something of value to contribute to that relationship. Lack of confidence may stem from a sense that relationships are only about you pleasing the other person, or getting him or her to like you. However, it’s important to realize that you have something to contribute to the relationship which will benefit the other person – you!

Flaws Happen

Remember that both you and the person with whom you are in a relationship have flaws. Everyone does. People who lack confidence in relationships tend to walk on eggshells, afraid they will say or do something to cause the other person to turn against them. But truthfully, someone who really likes or loves you is not going to ditch you just because you said one off-color thing or made one mistake. And if they do, you didn’t need them to begin with!

Silence the Negative Inner Voice

First, you have to recognize it – listen for a few days to your inner voice. What’s it saying? Do you hear, “You’re not good enough,” “No one would ever put up with you,” or “I just can’t go over and talk to him/her?” Once you begin to hear these thoughts, it’s time to take action and change them. Often, such negative self-talk is a habit and you don’t even realize you’re doing it. You have to forge new habits of positive self-talk instead. Remember that you have something to contribute to a relationship and the right person will be glad to have you as an addition to his or her life!

Stuck Inside? Get a Head Start on Your Summer Saving Plan

Stuck Inside? Get a Head Start on Your Summer Saving Plan
When the worst of winter hits and you are stuck indoors, daydreams turn to warmer months and your summer plans. While you’re daydreaming anyway, you might as well put your imagination to use and get a head start on your summer savings plan.

Why Wait?

There is really no use in waiting until summer hits before you have a plan together. In fact, the sooner you start, the more likely you are to successfully save up enough for your summer plans.

Savings Now Means More Fun Then

If you can put your mind and your spending to work for you now, you are more likely to have enough savings put back to use towards your summer plans.

There are many ways you can save money now to put towards your summer fun budget:

More indoor fun – Whether you have a big family or it is just you, you can save money by finding fun and enriching indoor activities. For example instead of going to the movies, stay in with a rental and your own popcorn. You might enjoy the movie more on your own comfortable sofa without the worry of noisy movie-goers and overpriced snacks.

Affordable meals – Wintertime is a great time for hearty, warm, and filling meals that are also inexpensive. Homemade soups and hot casseroles are not only comfort food, but they are also very affordable, especially when compared with the cost of going out to eat.

Energy savings – You can save a surprising amount of money with some simple insulation around your windows, curtains, and clean vents. Also, keeping your thermostat programmed to just a couple degrees lower is barely noticeable and puts money back in your pocket.

Health savings – To avoid costly physician’s visits and prescriptions, save money by staying healthy. Eat healthy, exercise daily, and fortify your immune system with antioxidants and vitamins like C and D.

Take the Time to Research

While you are stuck inside daydreaming, put your mind to work actually researching potential vacation spots. The time you spend researching can help you find great deals and money-saving packages. Not only that, but booking your vacation and certain activities ahead of time can often save you extra money as well.

Build a Strong Budget

As you are researching, plan out a budget for everything you need and want during your planned vacation. Build a budget that includes all accommodations including where and how long you will stay, travel costs, meal planning, and extra spending money. It also wouldn’t hurt to include some emergency funds in the event that something goes wrong or you need more money quickly.

Write It Out

Make a spreadsheet and write out everything, making changes along the way. Writing everything out will help you build a stronger budget and avoid missing anything important. Seeing the visible proof of your upcoming fun can also bring a smile to your face when the winter weather is pulling you down.

With the right planning, you can put together a strong and successful summer vacation plan. Using the extra time you have stuck indoors this winter gives you the perfect opportunity to put it all together.

Steps to Confidence

Building confidence is a necessary exercise for many of us. If self-confidence does not come naturally, building it up takes deliberate, conscious effort. While no step-by-step program is perfect, following are some steps that may help you build up your sense of confidence.

Goals

Write them down. Make a list of your goals, long and short term, and then below each goal write the steps it will take to get there.

Whether it’s relationships, business ventures, or self-improvement, writing your goals and their necessary steps can make those goals much less formidable and much more doable. That alone helps you feel more confident in moving forward.

Stop Comparing

While it’s good to have aspirations toward self-improvement, constantly comparing yourself to the best of the best in your realm can get discouraging. For example, if you’d like to have a talk radio show or Podcast, you might be inspired by high-profile radio hosts; being inspired by them is fine, but beating yourself up because you are not exactly like they are – complete with millions of listeners – will only discourage you.

Build a Positive Self-Image

It seems that when you are just certain you are going to fail before you try something, you are more likely to fail when you do try it. If you have a negative self-image and think you just can’t achieve anything, it’s likely that you won’t – thus underscoring this false impression about yourself. Stop listening to the negative inner voice and instead tell yourself that you can achieve your goals and, even if you fail, it’s not because you are a bad person or because you didn’t try.

Get to Know Yourself

This means spending some quiet time thinking or writing in a journal – some quiet time by yourself in which you assess your strengths, weaknesses, and personality. What are your character traits? What quirks and talents do you have? Pretend like you are being interviewed and that the interviewer is trying to get to know you. What questions would they ask?

Turn off the Media

For a while, it might be good to turn off the TV and put down the magazines. The perfect-people images found in the media can be discouraging for those who are struggling with self-confidence.

Every Problem Has A Solution

More than One Way to Skin a Cat: Adventures in Creative Thinking

How many times have you caught yourself saying that there could be no other solution to a problem – and that that problem leads to a dead end? How many times have you felt stumped knowing that the problem laying before you is one you cannot solve. No leads.  No options.  No solutions.

Did it feel like you had exhausted all possible options and yet are still before the mountain – large, unconquerable, and impregnable? When encountering such enormous problems, you may feel like you’re hammering against a steel mountain. The pressure of having to solve such a problem may be overwhelming.

But rejoice! There might be some hope yet!

With some creative problem-solving techniques you may be able to look at your problem in a different light. And that light might just be the end of the tunnel that leads to possible solutions.

First of all, in the light of creative problem-solving, you must be open-minded to the fact that there may be more than just one solution to the problem. And, you must be open to the fact that there may be solutions to problems you thought were unsolvable.

Now, with this optimistic mindset, we can try to be a little bit more creative in solving our problems.

Number one; maybe the reason we cannot solve our problems is that we have not really taken a hard look at what the problem is. Here, trying to understanding the problem and having a concrete understanding of its workings is integral solving the problem. If you know how it works, what the problem is, then you have a better foundation towards solving the problem.

Not trying to make the simple statement of what problem is. Try to identify the participating entities and what their relationships with one another are. Take note of the things you stand to gain any stand to lose from the current problem. Now you have a simple statement of what the problem is.

Number two; try to take note of all of the constraints and assumptions you have the words of problem. Sometimes it is these assumptions that obstruct our view of possible solutions. You have to identify which assumptions are valid, in which assumptions need to be addressed.

Number three; try to solve the problem by parts. Solve it going from general view towards the more detailed parts of the problem. This is called the top-down approach. Write down the question, and then come up with a one-sentence solution to that from them. The solution should be a general statement of what will solve the problem. From here you can develop the solution further, and increase its complexity little by little.

Number four; although it helps to have critical thinking aboard as you solve a problem, you must also keep a creative, analytical voice at the back of your head. When someone comes up with a prospective solution, tried to think how you could make that solution work. Try to be creative. At the same time, look for chinks in the armor of that solution.

Number five; it pays to remember that there may be more than just one solution being developed at one time. Try to keep track of all the solutions and their developments. Remember, there may be more than just one solution to the problem.

Number six; remember that old adage,” two heads are better than one.” That one is truer than it sounds. Always be open to new ideas. You can only benefit from listening to all the ideas each person has. This is especially true when the person you’re talking to has had experience solving problems similar to yours.

You don’t have to be a gung-ho, solo hero to solve the problem. If you can organize collective thought on the subject, it would be much better.

Number seven; be patient. As long as you persevere, there is always a chance that a solution will present itself. Remember that no one was able to create an invention the first time around.

Creative thinking exercises can also help you in your quest be a more creative problems solver.

Here is one example.

Take a piece of paper and write any word that comes to mind at the center. Now look at that word then write the first two words that come to your mind. This can go on until you can build a tree of related words. This helps you build analogical skills, and fortify your creative processes.

So, next time you see a problem you think you can not solve, think again. The solution might just be staring you right in the face. All it takes is just a little creative thinking, some planning, and a whole lot of work.